Letters from a shopping trip

Dear Bookstore,

Thank you for having awesome Christmas music and helpful staff. The Charlie Brown Christmas CD is an excellent choice. Also, the parking is so good! How often can you say that ten days before Christmas?

Dear Bookstore owner,

Thank you for giving all your former employees a discount. My bank account is forever in your debt. Or, more to the point, I suppose, it isn’t in fact in your debt. Thanks!

Dear Books,

Why must you be so irresistable? I work in a library, for god’s sake, and yet I still wanted to bring you all home with me for myself. I didn’t, but it was close. Quit it with the interestingness!

p.s. just kidding. Please don’t stop being interesting. And please leap into my mother’s bag for me if you see her in the store.

Dear Visa,

It’s almost over, I promise. Only two more presents!

Dear drug store,

I know it’s not your fault that the benefits system can’t accept two different last names. But damn, that’s lame. It’s 2006! Almost 2007! I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one who has a diferent last name from her husband-who-has-the-benefits.

Dear benefits,

I love you and your delicious cheap drugs, but damn, get with the times! Different last name! Learn it, live it, love it.

Dear giant pile of snow that I parked next to,

You are very hard to resist. Nine-year-old me would have been all over you. Do you think people would look at me strangely if I climbed on you?

Dear lemonade,

Thanks for being on sale! I was going to buy you anyway, because I love your deliciousness enough to pay full price, but my husband glares at me if I don’t wait for a sale.

Dear lineup,

Thanks for going elsewhere this evening! That’s the first time ever that I didn’t have to wait in line at that grocery store. Thumbs up!

Dear self,

Remember to shop at 6pm on Thursdays, as apparently that’s the lineup free portion of the evening.

Dear corner by my house,

You are really freaking slippery and I’m getting tired of your attitude every time I try to turn into the alley to get to my garage. Even Erin is slipping on you and she has a brand new car! Knock it off. It’s been above zero all week! Melt, damn you!

Dear husband,

Thanks for making dinner even if you put my pasta on a PLATE like a weirdo. It’s still tasty, although I think it’s tastier in a bowl. Still, pasta on a plate that I didn’t have to make myself is tastier than self-made pasta in a bowl.

Dear knitting,

Aren’t you done yet? God.

Dear blog,

Sorry, knitting calls.




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